Judicial Predicaments
by Katty MasterofViolence
Summary: I TRIED to write a humor fic, but then it spiraled back to what i'm good at---ironic angsty stuff! SO anyway: Lance gets jury duty, and the unexpected happens...r/r!!!!
1. Who the--?!

standard disclaimers apply~  
  
"You've got Mail!" chirped the computer obediently. Lance glanced at it quirkily, then hesitantly clicked the button. Like the saying went, 'All news is bad news'. Or at least in his case it was.  
  
Looking back through his memories, Lance could recall that life had always been tough in the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants, especially since that grabby little Tabitha barged in. He always hated that name; they weren't evil, they just folowed orders, like they were supposed to do. But he supposed it was better than having the name "X-Men". How corny was that? Anyway, he could remember the times when Magneto and Mystique werent' just "ancient history", and were constantly on his case since he was the oldest of the group. Now, at 18, he still was.  
  
"Hey, wow, Lance, you've got mail? Well, what are you waiting for, yo? Cilck the damn button and read it!"  
  
Lance rolled his eyes and unleashed a small tremor strong enough to cause Todd to topple off his perch on Lance's chair, then cautiously clicked on the subject line:  
  
~*~   
  
Mr. Lance Alvers,  
  
As a legal resident of the United States of America, the Bayville Judicial Court (A/N- for lack of a better name) would like to remind you that you must be present for jury duty on May 14 of this year.  
  
Failure to comply will result in severe consequences.   
  
Directions to the building are enclosed in the attachment included.  
  
Sincerely,   
  
Bayville Judicial Court...  
  
~*~  
  
"JURY DUTY?! Crap... I can't have jury duty! And it's in three days, too! On a SATURDAY! Argh... Whoever's being charged for whatever, I'm going to SO vote them guilty for doing this to me..." Lance growled, pacing furiously around the room.  
  
Todd gingerly picked himself off the floor, then hopped off to get Fred and Tabitha to see it all; Pietro, hearing the commotion, was already there, thanks to his mutant ability to move faster than normal humans.  
  
"Juryduty,didyousay? Weeeeell Lance-my-boy, I'll bet you have so much fun.."  
  
"Shut up."  
  
By that time, Fred, Tabitha, and Todd had arrived to see Lance try to throttle a cackling Pietro. All joined in on the fray, causing Lance to get extremely pissed off and start what could have been another "1989 Earthquake (A/N- Loma Pueba something, was it? I dunno, I was only like 6 months old..0.0 uh, forget that, hehe...)". Of course, it only shook the already worn down building, nothing more, nothing less.  
  
Days passed. It was May 14, this year (of course). Lance was tearing down the street in his jeep, muttering curse words all the way. Pietro, Fred, Todd, and Tabitha cheerfully--too cheerfully--waved from what was left of the rickety porch.   
  
On the way to the courtroom, Lance passed by several people frolicking about, free on a Saturday, while he had to sit in a musty building and vote if some person was guilty or not.  
  
Slamming the large doors and huffily taking a seat in the far back of the jury stand, he glanced at the defense's table to see just who was being convicted..  
  
"KITTY?!"  
  
~*~TBC! ^.^ n don't forget to review, of couuurse!~*~ 


	2. On the Team, Fighting for Good... Right?

standard disclaimers apply~  
  
"Kitty?!"  
  
The bailiff, as well as most of the other jurers, glared at him to be quiet. Blushing somewhat apologetically but thinking 'cretins' in his mind, he turned to his crush with question in his eyes. "What did you... Who did you... Where... Why... How did you..."  
  
Kitty laughed quietly, but shook her head, stopping herself. Her eyes were red and puffy; she'd been crying, Lance realized with a shock. And instead of her usual pale pink glittery strawberry scented lip gloss bought from a bitchy lady in Macy's (obsession, you know), she was wearing some sort of dark mauve. Had she become gothic?! That wasn't the girl he fell for. That would be like Pietro's five minute obsession with Rogue, who he then brushed off for Jean, and then switched to stalking Taryn, and then back to Jean, and then got caught by Duncan AND Scott at the same time, and spiraled downward from there. (A/N- funny ne? heeheehee...heh...eh...)  
  
Kitty smiled sadly and sniffed. "Hey, Lance. I didn't know you were like, going to be here."  
  
Not totally gothic yet. She still had her cute valley girl personality. The bailiff, apparently, didn't think she was sweet and nice, and glared at her in turn to shut up. Huffing, she did, and pouted quietly in her chair. Lance knew at once that she didn't have much of a chance to save herself. He stood up and walked down to the bailiff. Not having any nerves anymore, he barely squeaked. "Uh, excuse me.."  
  
Some tough street-smart guy, huh?  
  
He cleared his throat. "Hey, you!"   
  
The bailiff whipped around and glared just as ferociously back at him. "Get back to the jurers' stand. You shouldn't be here."  
  
Lance glared at him impatiently. Fat-ass cretin. "Look. I'm not supposed to be here. Really. I mean, if you know the defendant then--" Seeing Kitty put her head in her hands and groan, he wondered what he did wrong.   
  
The bailiff looked scandalized. "You KNOW the defendant?"  
  
His brain clicked in. "Shit.. I mean, no wait! Don't--"  
  
~*~  
five minutes later...  
~*~  
  
"H-Hey! Lemme back in! Come on, you can't do this to me! I won't go away until you let me back in and be a witness to Kitty---I mean the defendant!!! I mean... no, yea, the defendant!" Hearing no response from behind the courtroom doors, Lance began to pound yet again on the heavy mahogany doors. " LET ME IN GODDAMMI--WhaaAAAA!!!!" Lance was propelled forward into the room, face down on the wooden floor. It smelled like PineSol. Correction: It reeked of PineSol. No wonder it was so freaking shiny. He could just feel all eyes on him, burning through him, looking into his mind and reading it like an entertaining novel. Damn them.  
  
Had he said that out loud? Shit. The judge took a breath, looked briefly up at the ceiling as if he was praying to his God that had probably forsaken Lance and the Brotherhood, and turned his attention back to the boy who had caused so much commotion in less than an hour. "Mr. Alvers."   
  
Lance sighed. He knew his name. That was bad.  
  
"Mr. ALvers. You've got an impressive record with the law. For time's sake, I won't list them all, but.."  
  
Lance glared at him. He felt so lowly. Damn them all. Damn all those law-abiders that hated him so. Maybe that was why he hated the law so much. They didn't do anything for him, not even when he was a law-abiding "citizen". Even when he had still been innocent...  
  
The judge continued unhindered. ".. I've never known you to show such emotion for anyone--"  
  
'Like you know me. And you haven't seen me with the Brotherhood or anything. Fag.' he thought angrily.  
  
"Therefore, I'll grant your wish to be a witness to the defendant, provided there shall be no more disruptions from you."  
  
Lance blinked. A small voice inside him screamed at him, 'This is your chance to help her out! Being a jurer won't do anything but condemn her and screw her over even more than she is now! Go!' Lance nodded. "OK."  
  
He was going to prove that his beloved was innocent. He'd prove that she still was the sweet little girl with the strawberry-scented lip gloss and rarely cried. He'd never let her be thrown in the slammer. 'Over my dead body.'  
  
~*~  
  
Xavier took off his Cerebro helmet and smiled un-Xavier-ly. 'Over his dead body, hmm?' he thought. ' Well, we'll see, my dear boy...  
  
We'll see.'  
  
~*~  
  
Well? Like? No like? well tell me in a review! I don't care flame me I just want my reviews up up and away!!!! BAHAHAHH! anyway, yea. review PLEASE~ 


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